SRWA (Stop Ronald Weasley Agency)
by radishesandspectraspects
Summary: Welcome to the S.R.W.A! As a member, your obligation is to prevent Ronald Weasley's annoying ways at all costs.
1. Introductory Meeting

**Welcome to the S.R.W.A. (Stop Ronald Weasley Agency) where Harry Potter characters try to prevent the annoyingness that is Ronald Weasley. Unfortunately, he manages to annoy them anyways. Based off of the fact that my sister and I tend to pretend that we are HP characters and mess around with their personalities. Please read all of Ron's lines in a high, squeaky voice, like the Ron puppet in PPP.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

"May the S.R.W.A. Come to order!" said Harry.

The excited chatter of the students continued.

"I said, ORDER!" yelled Harry.

The students quieted down and looked at Harry.

"Good. Now, I'm sure you've all heard of the recent crisis..."

"That Neville's looking for a Yule Ball date?" asked Pavarti.

"No, and he's right there you know."

Neville looked at the ground sadly.

"The real reason we're here is because Ronald Weasley." explained Harry.

"What?!" shouted Crabbe, "You mean I'm missing lunch because of Weasel Head?!"

"Crabbe! I'm supposed to be the one who comes up with all of the intelligent nick-names!" said Draco.

"Sorry." mumbled Crabbe.

"Yes, well, Ron has been extremely annoying lately and Professor Dumbledore has entrusted me to lead a team to prevent him from being annoying." said Harry.

"Extermination mission? The headmaster doesn't even trust you with a waffle iron." said Luna.

"We're not exterminating Ron. We're preventing his annoyingness. And cooking waffles in the bounce-house would have worked if Neville didn't have such a weak grip."

"He does have a weak grip." said Padma.

"Why do you get to lead?" whined Malfoy.

"Because I'm not an annoying little ferret. Keep that attitude up and we just might have to exterminate you too." replied Harry.

"I thought you said it wasn't an extermination mission." said Luna.

"It isn't."

"Ooh! Ooh! Harry!"

Harry sighed, "What Colin?"

"You haven't told us what S.R.W.A. Stands for." said Colin.

"It stands for Stop Ronald Weasley Agency."

"Stop Ronald Weasley Agency? Ha! Even S.P.E.W. Is a better name than that." laughed Draco.

Hermione crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Do you WANT me to punch you again?" asked Hermione.

Draco whimpered, "No."

"Anyway, you're all members now whether you like it or not." said Harry.

"Hey!" yelled a few people, Draco and his gang included.

"Too bad." said Harry.

"Ooh! Ooh!"

"What Colin?" sighed Harry.

"Er, that wasn't me Harry." said Colin.

Harry looked towards the sound of the voice and saw Ron jumping up and down waving his hand.

"That's a good imitation of Granger, Weasley." said Malfoy before bursting out laughing.

Hermione stomped over to Draco and punched him in the nose.

"Ron! What are you doing here!" yelled Harry.

Ron shrugged, "I thought I might get a free cupcake."

Harry gave him a cupcake and shoved him out of the room. He ran back onto the podium.

"He's onto us! Meeting dismissed!"

**Hooray first chapter! The chapters will get longer, as this is just the introduction.**


	2. Mission 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

_**Mission 1: Ron's Eating Habits**_

"Where are we going Harry?" Ginny asked.

"You two are our first task force for the S.R.W.A. So we're obviously going to find Ron." answered Harry.

Dobby was standing nervously outside of the Great Hall when they arrived.

"He's in there, Harry Potter sir." said Dobby, pointing towards the hall.

"Thank you Dobby." said Harry.

Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Harry, Draco, and Ginny peeked around the giant wooden doors that lead to the Great Hall.

"Okay guys, we've gotten many complaints that Ron has been eating enough food for half of the Gryffindors at meal times. Hermione says that she loses her appetite just by listening to him eat. The house-elves are worried that if he keeps this up, a third of the grocery stores in Scotland will be out of food." said Harry.

"So, why are we the first task force?" asked Ginny.

"I called on you two especially because Ron is relatively frightened of both of you."

"I'm missing banjo practice for this?!" said Draco.

"Yes, now our objection is to frighten him out of his current eating habits."

"And if that fails?" said Ginny.

"Then we'll make him eat Draco."

"Hey!" yelled Draco.

"Shhh! Draco you go first." said Harry.

"What! Why me?"

"Because rodents are always the test subjects."

Draco glared at Harry and walked leisurely into the hall. He walked by Ron and plucked the doughnut he was about to eat out of his hands.

"Ha, weasel! If only your mind was as quick as one you might be chewing on this delicious powdered doughnut right now."

"Hey! Give it back!" cried Ron.

"No!" said Draco. He then preceded to take a huge bite out of it.

Ron slumped to his knees and gave a dramatic wail, "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

He glared at Malfoy and began frothing at the mouth.

"Give me back my DOUGHNUT!"

Ron gave a loud, girly shriek and began attacking Draco with breakfast foods. Draco shrieked and dropped the doughnut as a jug of orange juice was hurled at his head and he ran to the staff table and hid behind Professor Snape.

"What the...?" said Snape before being soaked with orange juice.

"Ah! Snape's a Weasley!" screamed Draco and he ran from the room.

Harry sighed, "Draco, that was pathetic."

Draco was sucking his thumb and rocking back-and-forth in futile position.

Ginny sighed, "Looks like it's up to me."

She entered the Great Hall and briskly strode up to where Ron was sitting. He was caressing his doughnut and calling it his 'precious'. Ginny walked up in front of him and slammed her hands on the table.

"RONALD WEASLEY! YOU PUT THAT DOUGHNUT DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Ron stared at her.

Ginny glared at him.

He quickly licked the doughnut.

"Arrrrggggggggghhhhh!" yelled Ginny and she hurled a plate of sausages at Ron. But of course he just ate them as they flew towards his face.

"Yummy! Throw more food!" said Ron happily.

Ginny stared at him in disgust.

Ron, realizing that Ginny wasn't going to throw any more food at him, pulled a platter of cupcakes out from under the table.

"Ron! Cupcakes aren't a breakfast food!" said Ginny.

Ron shrugged and popped one in his mouth.

"How about I tell mum about how you haven't been eating your vegetables at lunch time?" Ginny threatened.

"No! Don't tell mum!" squealed Ron.

Ginny picked up a quill and a piece of paper.

"Oh I'm gonna." she said.

"No!"

"Here I go..." said Ginny, touching the quill to the paper.

"Okay children! Lunch is over!" said Professor McGonogall.

"Crap!" said Ginny.

"Already?" said Ron, "Oh well."

He then made a vacuum-sounding noise with his mouth an sucked up all of the excess food before it disappeared.

"Well, see you in the Common Room, Ginny!" said Ron cheerfully.

Ginny slammed her head onto the table.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

Harry and Draco entered the Great Hall.

"Good try Ginny." said Harry.

Ginny groaned.

"And I didn't have to die!" said Draco happily.

"Next week, we're bringing in Victor Krum." said Harry.


End file.
